Why Do People Hate Fat People?

While I was trying to fall asleep last night, I started to wonder why people hate fat people. In history, it seems, that one group's hate of another group stems from fear. People fear what they don't know or understand, but I don't think that is it. I think, in this culture of political correctness, people are running out of people to hate. It is no longer acceptable to judge people based on race or religion. Not that it was ever correct, but in years past correctness didn't stop anyone. Today, it is not tolerated.

What's a person to do? Hating someone gives the hater a sense of moral superiority. It's like early risers. I'm sure you know the type. The man or woman that gets out of bed at four or five in the morning and looks their nose down at anyone who might dare to sleep until 9:00 am. Somehow, we have infused getting up before light as a sign of virtue. While the poor, lazy, bum that dares to sleep past sunrise, is held as an example of sloth and all that is wrong with our society. I've never figured out why a person that gets their eight hours of sleep between 9:00p.m. and 5:00a.m. is somehow better than a person that gets their eight hours between 2:00a.m. and 10:00a.m.? Eight hours is eight hours.

I think this is the key to the question. People need to feel that in some fundamental way they are better then someone else. The easiest way to do that is to find something about a person that one can point to and and say, "Hey that's a choice you've made." People don't have a choice of skin color, nor do most make the choice of their religion as they are born into it. However, people can say, a person makes the choice of what they put in their mouths, and just like early risers it becomes a distinction between good and bad.

It doesn't matter that weight gain and loss has many components. It doesn't matter that some people, although few, have health issues that cause weight gain. It doesn't matter that if weight loss was as simple as eating or not eating, there would be no fat people. Our relationship with food is complicated to say the least, but none of that matters.

What does matter is that people can look at someone and point and simplify the issue to a question of willpower and self-worth. They can point and say, "You're fat. I'm not. That makes me better than you." Once they have made that leap in logic, it gives them permission to hate.

Weight Loss (or the lack of weight loss) and Dating

I had a conversation today with my former boyfriend. When we met, about one and a half years ago, we both had some weight to lose. I'd say he was about 70 lbs overweight. I was more like 100 lbs overweight. Yikes. That is always scary to see in print.

Anyway, we went our seperate ways. I won't bore you with the details, but it was one of those things where after a year of dating all of a sudden he, "wasn't ready for a relationship." I guess, he didn't realize he was already in one.

Anyway, in that year he not only lost his 70 lbs he has become Mr. Exercise. I think that is wonderful, really. I haven't seen him for sometime, but from what he tells me, and he likes to tell me this as often as he can, he is looking really good.

I'm afraid to report that in that same year, I have gone up and down in weight, but have ended up pretty much where I started. Now, he wants to get together in November. He is in Denver at the moment, and I am in South Carolina.

What to do. What to do. I hate that I have wasted so much time in the weight loss game. I hate that I feel as if I need to go exercise 12 hours a day as if I am on the Biggest Loser. I hate that I even have to think about weight. I hate that he wants to see me. I hate that I care what he thinks. I hate that I have failed where he has been successful.

I just mention this because, I find the whole thing depressing. The easy out, of course, is to not see him. The shame is, I'd kind of like to see him.

What to do. What to do?