Weight Loss (or the lack of weight loss) and Dating

I had a conversation today with my former boyfriend. When we met, about one and a half years ago, we both had some weight to lose. I'd say he was about 70 lbs overweight. I was more like 100 lbs overweight. Yikes. That is always scary to see in print.

Anyway, we went our seperate ways. I won't bore you with the details, but it was one of those things where after a year of dating all of a sudden he, "wasn't ready for a relationship." I guess, he didn't realize he was already in one.

Anyway, in that year he not only lost his 70 lbs he has become Mr. Exercise. I think that is wonderful, really. I haven't seen him for sometime, but from what he tells me, and he likes to tell me this as often as he can, he is looking really good.

I'm afraid to report that in that same year, I have gone up and down in weight, but have ended up pretty much where I started. Now, he wants to get together in November. He is in Denver at the moment, and I am in South Carolina.

What to do. What to do. I hate that I have wasted so much time in the weight loss game. I hate that I feel as if I need to go exercise 12 hours a day as if I am on the Biggest Loser. I hate that I even have to think about weight. I hate that he wants to see me. I hate that I care what he thinks. I hate that I have failed where he has been successful.

I just mention this because, I find the whole thing depressing. The easy out, of course, is to not see him. The shame is, I'd kind of like to see him.

What to do. What to do?