Have I Waited Too Long?

Yesterday, I happened upon a support message board for people that had or were going to have weight loss surgery. What struck me was that they had a memorial page for those members of the forum that had died. The members that had passed away seemed to have fallen into one of about four categories. They follow:

1 - They died waiting for their insurance companies to approve the surgery.
2 - They died as a result of complications from surgery.
3 - They died sometime after the surgery in a car accident.
4 - They died sometime after the surgery from cancer.

It was sad to see these people who had such high hopes for their life after surgery to end up not having a life at all. What struck me most were the people that had the surgery, lost the weight, and then ended up dying later due to a serious illness.

I have taken my health for granted. Yes, I have been overweight for years, but I have not developed any health issues due to the weight. I've been lucky and as I said, have taken for granted that my good fortune will continue.

What I have to wonder is how much of these people's extra weight played a part in their later developing a serious illness?  Certainly, anyone - heavy or not - can develop a life threatening illness, but I still wonder.

What I really wonder is have I waited too long?  I'm actually losing the weight as this is written, but have I waited too long?  I feel like the smoker that has smoked for thirty years who finally gives up smoking only to have to wonder if they did so in time before they set the ground work for lung cancer.

Will I finally lose this weight only to end up dying from some illness I have laid the ground work for all these years I have taken my health for granted?

I wonder.

Time

I wonder when motivation kicks in. What does it take? My father died a week ago. He had been ill, but the timing seems off. We assumed he had time left. That got me to thinking about time. We always think that we'll have tomorrow to do what we just didn't get to today, but maybe we won't. I think about the life I'd like to have. It includes more friends, more freedom to do the thinks I keep myself from doing because of my weight. It also includes companionship and dare I say love. Being overweight is isolating. I do it to myself, and it is done to me by others. People don't seem to want to take the time to get to know who I am as a person. They don't like what they see on the outside, so I guess, they figure they won't like what's on the inside.

I'm not silly enough to believe that being thin solves all of a person's problems, but it doesn't hurt. Maybe there is a whole other list out there of problems just waiting for the day I finally lose the weight. Honestly, I'd welcome them. At least, they would be a change of pace.

So, back to time. It is so easy to say, "I'll start tomorrow. I'll worry about that on Monday. This isn't a good time, maybe next week." I just have to wonder, how much time is left?